Saturday, the 16th January, 2010

Another trip to the hardware store nets me paint (the colour is called ‘Sweet’ – which must be the Greek word for Magnolia), brushes, rollers, 20m of two core 1mm2 wire, some surface mount halogen light fittings, 12v lamps, light switches, and some block connectors. Of course there are no light fittings available in the same store that take the 12v halogen bulbs – so I also grab a soldering iron, solder and a glue gun to affect MacGyver style modifications. Finally an extra fiver on a hole saw completes the trip.


I take the opportunity while in town to grab some provisions. This consists mostly vodka – and knowing that vodka is not one of the primary food groups I also get some lemonade and orange juice in an attempt to make up at least two of my ‘five a day’.

The electrics are [read: should be] wonderfully simple on the boat. There are two existing light fittings – located either side of the forward bulkhead as you enter the cabin. It should be a simple job to extend the wiring and replace the switches. The wiring is accessible (albeit a tight squeeze – so tight in fact that I am sure the last electrician was an eight year old boy!) in some small wardrobes adjacent to the bulkhead.

This should be very quick....

Famous last words.

The next eight hours consisted of the following (interspersed with breaks every 10 minutes so that I could straighten my back out).

Removal of the old fittings: Fiddly but easy. The fact that the old light fittings are brass swans has no real effect on the job – I only mention it to give you some visualisation of the current decor and fittings. I won’t be mentioning the mustard yellow gloss paint or the leopard print and leatherette cushions. Damn, I said I wouldn’t mention that!

Drawing new wires: Not being eight years old anymore I can only get my arm into the wardrobe, the rest of my body is stopped by the size of my chest. I can take comfort that if the boat ever rolls over I won’t end up in the back of the wardrobe (unless I suffer a chest full of broken ribs in the process).

Cutting 55mm holes for the new switches; Cutting 65mm holes for the light fittings.

Doing McGyver modifications on some block connectors to facilitate connection of the cables to the 12v bulbs.

Tinning the cable ends so that the light switches grip them (Greek 240v power fittings use a push fit system rather than fiddly screws – they are brilliant –they really are!)

Hot melt gluing the cables in place.

...and finally testing.

Well, one of them works. Must just be a loose connection on the second. I grab my multi-meter and start testing. And testing. And testing. And testing, testing, testing and testing. It’s a good job my hair is cut at No.1 right now – it means I cannot grab it to pull it out. There is 12v showing everywhere! (and by that I mean that there is 12v showing everywhere it SHOULD be showing).

It’s all working exactly the way a Brummie doesn’t. No offence to Brummies of course, I could have quite easily said a Scouser, or a Welshman (although I would have thought that catching the sheep was quite hard work).

Anyway, I digress. Sorry.

As it happens I saw a similar problem while working on Kostas’ boat in the summer. Because of the salt corrosion although there will be 12v at the right places there must be almost no current – the only alternative is to replace the wiring back to the batteries. This is a much bigger job than I had intended and would require the use of specialist tools such as an axe and a chainsaw to rip apart the saloon and locate the wiring.

I decide to take a feed from the working light switch and string it across the cabin to the non-working light switch. A couple of metres of cable and some hot-melt later I have both lights working. I can now see REALLY how grungy the front cabin is.